This girl is more easily done than said...
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
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This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
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Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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