I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
They have beer where we have blood.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
