this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
