I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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