I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
