I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
