all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Help. Why am I so naked?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
