The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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