so that wasnt chicken after all
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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