The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
