I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
