My brain says no but my pants say off.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
