she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
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They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
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Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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