he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
