just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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