Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
