i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...