Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
