Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.

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(631): woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again. http://tfl.nu/84mk

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(801): View more from Utah

I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.

(1-801): View more from Utah

We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.

(801): View more from Utah

I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!

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(801): I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high. (1-801): We could get him to build Inspector Gadget. (801): I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!! http://tfl.nu/5lpc

Replies (31) Good night (6904) Bad night (610)
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(917): View more from New York City

No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.

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(917): No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list. http://tfl.nu/e3d0

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity

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(610): Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity http://tfl.nu/heka

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(336): View more from North Carolina

as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love

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(336): as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love http://tfl.nu/xemn

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(819): View more from Quebec

I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.

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(819): I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me. http://tfl.nu/9k8k

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(417): View more from Missouri

Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel

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(417): Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel http://tfl.nu/ki9k

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(732): View more from New Jersey

4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move

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(732): 4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move http://tfl.nu/7ba1

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(604): View more from British Columbia

You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance

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(604): You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance http://tfl.nu/i8te

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(609): View more from New Jersey

This ER has an aquarium in it!!!

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(609): This ER has an aquarium in it!!! http://tfl.nu/uric

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.

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(605): Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it. http://tfl.nu/7cyq

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(757): View more from Virginia

think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess

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(757): think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess http://tfl.nu/lfhg

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".

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(+44): No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills". http://tfl.nu/ec0b

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(770): View more from Georgia

You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan

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(770): You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan http://tfl.nu/kbvj

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(512): View more from Texas

The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore

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(512): The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore http://tfl.nu/9q9y

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