so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.