What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
