I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.