Texts From Last Night

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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever

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  (859): im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever http://tfl.nu/peni
  Replies (23) Good night (2335) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.

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  (404): I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game. http://tfl.nu/k2tm
  Replies (25) Good night (3959) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.

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  (317): Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot. http://tfl.nu/s8pf
  Replies (51) Good night (5222) Bad night (935)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...

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  (856): in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee... http://tfl.nu/v0er
  Replies (63) Good night (5627) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.

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  (434): the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit. http://tfl.nu/vjaf
  Replies (36) Good night (4943) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am the drunkest girl in the tree.

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  (484): I am the drunkest girl in the tree. http://tfl.nu/zje1
  Replies (15) Good night (10614) Bad night (1237)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.

  (1-662): View more from Mississippi

  I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.

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  (662): Stop introducing me to people as your little sister. (1-662): I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother. http://tfl.nu/5xkr
  Replies (31) Good night (8113) Bad night (1732)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.

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  (847): she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay. http://tfl.nu/cwvk
  Replies (4) Good night (842) Bad night (3094)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You're just horny.

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.

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  (401): You're just horny. (1-401): Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps. http://tfl.nu/yzld
  Replies (6) Good night (2911) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Some girl just showed me her stretch marks

  (757): View more from Virginia

  You need to get out of tn

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  (304): Some girl just showed me her stretch marks (757): You need to get out of tn http://tfl.nu/alqm
  Replies (7) Good night (598) Bad night (1628)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.

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  (717): Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move. http://tfl.nu/kgo8
  Replies (9) Good night (1348) Bad night (2214)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.

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  (434): Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority. http://tfl.nu/mqpz
  Replies (2) Good night (586) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.

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  (203): I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe. http://tfl.nu/ze7a
  Replies (4) Good night (1256) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.

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  (306): I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women. http://tfl.nu/1xbq
  Replies (4) Good night (797) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.

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  (701): Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich. http://tfl.nu/pg0v
  Replies (0) Good night (539) Bad night (312)

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