Texts From Last Night

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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....

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  (504): Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache (225): You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice (504): Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time? (225): I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz.... http://tfl.nu/t0ng
  Replies (4) Good night (1420) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper

  (785): View more from Kansas

  He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.

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  (316): I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper (785): He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not. http://tfl.nu/pqqj
  Replies (32) Good night (3308) Bad night (1000)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame

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  (508): dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move (617): that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame http://tfl.nu/79g6
  Replies (15) Good night (6589) Bad night (689)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.

  (1-613): View more from Ontario

  We are no longer friends.

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  (613): New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands. (1-613): We are no longer friends. http://tfl.nu/wlk1
  Replies (28) Good night (914) Bad night (3577)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.

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  (407): I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA. http://tfl.nu/w336
  Replies (52) Good night (1807) Bad night (4007)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M

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  (954): I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M http://tfl.nu/v1d0
  Replies (26) Good night (7702) Bad night (1080)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.

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  (832): when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate. http://tfl.nu/63ss
  Replies (32) Good night (6752) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?

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  (605): I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF? http://tfl.nu/tx7k
  Replies (14) Good night (5791) Bad night (1015)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.

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  (270): he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment. http://tfl.nu/tur1
  Replies (5) Good night (2367) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.

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  (617): we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over. http://tfl.nu/igug
  Replies (4) Good night (1843) Bad night (1367)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.

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  (719): I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts. http://tfl.nu/kevg
  Replies (2) Good night (1852) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.

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  (715): I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption. http://tfl.nu/d2pl
  Replies (6) Good night (1152) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield

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  (401): She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield http://tfl.nu/quct
  Replies (5) Good night (1160) Bad night (586)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.

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  (603): and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks. http://tfl.nu/aapi
  Replies (10) Good night (985) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!

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  (505): We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?! http://tfl.nu/gxll
  Replies (6) Good night (393) Bad night (335)

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