Don't you send me to vm
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
