Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
