I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
