I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
