we're blogging at a bar
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
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Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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