youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize