I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
