This girl is more easily done than said...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
