I'm gonna have a badass scar
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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