that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
