At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
soo... how was my night?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
