the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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