Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
