I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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