This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
