What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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