I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
