When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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