i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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