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I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
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