erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party