I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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