ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
