Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Well I just put wine in my tea
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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