Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
