did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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