Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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