So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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