You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
