trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
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Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
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Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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