she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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