Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
