don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
