Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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