Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
