did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
