i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
