I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
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