Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
