I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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