he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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