i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
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I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
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He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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