he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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